Dog Jokes

In the evening, two dog owners meet on a narrow

path. One has a huge purebred shepherd on a

leash, the other has something short,

bow-legged, similar to a dachshund. A man

with a shepherd dog arrogantly says: –

My dog ​​is bigger, so you must give us

the way. He objects: – And my dog ​​is

angrier. We bet she’ll eat yours? –

Well, we argue! The dogs were set off,

and the bow-legged one ate the whole

shepherd. The shocked owner asks: –

Listen, man, what breed is your dog? –

Yes, no. Until her tail was cut off,

she was a crocodile

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 Man! Where are you going! It’s a women’s

toilet. Yes, even with a shepherd … – She’s

my girl! He is ashamed to go to the men’s toilet …

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Can a German Shepherd become a bulldog? “Maybe if you cut off her tail and stuff her face.

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I will give into good hands seven puppies of a very smart, but slightly frivolous shepherd dog.

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Glamorous cops wear a shepherd dog under their arm.

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A Korean border guard went on patrol with a shepherd dog and always returned without her. And the dogs are all scientists, trained. The authorities felt sorry for the dogs (the Korean ate them), and they invited a hypnotist. He began to instill in the Korean: – You are not a Korean – you are a Jew, you are not a Korean – you are a Jew … And he again returns without a shepherd. Then they decided to see what was the matter. They look: – A Korean sits, strokes a shepherd dog and says: – You are not a shepherd dog – you are a stuffed fish.

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I go home in the evening, to meet – a shepherd dog with a lady. The shepherd makes a dash in my direction, the lady stops her and gives out, turning to the shepherd, the wording: – Well, what are you! You’re in a muzzle!

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A huge shepherd dog pounced on a passerby. – Do not be afraid, do not be afraid, – the hostess cried, – she has already been injected against rabies.

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A passer-by turns to a village dweller, at whose feet an impressive shepherd dog is perched: – Excuse me, sir, does your dog bite? – My? No. At this moment, the shepherd dog silently bites into the leg of a passer-by. – You said that she does not bite! – Who told you that this is my dog?

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 Paulette! You are crazy! The husband exclaims, finding his wife making love to their German shepherd. “I must tell you,” she says, “that he has a pedigree up to the sixth generation. Whereas you didn’t even introduce your family to me.

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Two friends meet, and the following dialogue takes place between them: – How are you? – Yes, my mother-in-law is completely bored, every week she comes to us and bothers, and yells … – This problem can be solved, only this must be creatively approached. For example, I made mine a gift with a surprise, and now she lives quietly at home and does not get enough of us. – Wow, what kind of gift is this? – Guard Shepherd. – And what was the surprise? – This dog is trained not to let anyone out of the house.

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Owners of a shepherd dog complain to the veterinarian: – After a walk, my dog ​​wipes his ass on the carpet. Accelerates and rides from window to wall. The doctor advised putting sandpaper on the floor. The next day: – How’s the result? The doctor asks. – Well! Only ears reached the wall.

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Did your shepherd graduate from service dog school? – You hurt. She teaches there.