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                        Dog Jokes


In the evening, two dog owners meet on a narrow

path. One has a huge purebred shepherd on a

leash, the other has something short,

bow-legged, similar to a dachshund. A man

with a shepherd dog arrogantly says: –

My dog ​​is bigger, so you must give us

the way. He objects: – And my dog ​​is

angrier. We bet she’ll eat yours? –

Well, we argue! The dogs were set off,

and the bow-legged one ate the whole

shepherd. The shocked owner asks: –

Listen, man, what breed is your dog? –

Yes, no. Until her tail was cut off,

she was a crocodile


 Man! Where are you going! It’s a women’s

toilet. Yes, even with a shepherd … – She’s

my girl! He is ashamed to go to the men’s toilet …


Can a German Shepherd become a bulldog? “Maybe if you cut off her tail and stuff her face.


I will give into good hands seven puppies of a very smart, but slightly frivolous shepherd dog.


Glamorous cops wear a shepherd dog under their arm.


A Korean border guard went on patrol with a shepherd dog and always returned without her. And the dogs are all scientists, trained. The authorities felt sorry for the dogs (the Korean ate them), and they invited a hypnotist. He began to instill in the Korean: – You are not a Korean – you are a Jew, you are not a Korean – you are a Jew … And he again returns without a shepherd. Then they decided to see what was the matter. They look: – A Korean sits, strokes a shepherd dog and says: – You are not a shepherd dog – you are a stuffed fish.


I go home in the evening, to meet – a shepherd dog with a lady. The shepherd makes a dash in my direction, the lady stops her and gives out, turning to the shepherd, the wording: – Well, what are you! You’re in a muzzle!


A huge shepherd dog pounced on a passerby. – Do not be afraid, do not be afraid, – the hostess cried, – she has already been injected against rabies.


A passer-by turns to a village dweller, at whose feet an impressive shepherd dog is perched: – Excuse me, sir, does your dog bite? – My? No. At this moment, the shepherd dog silently bites into the leg of a passer-by. – You said that she does not bite! – Who told you that this is my dog?


 Paulette! You are crazy! The husband exclaims, finding his wife making love to their German shepherd. “I must tell you,” she says, “that he has a pedigree up to the sixth generation. Whereas you didn’t even introduce your family to me.


Two friends meet, and the following dialogue takes place between them: – How are you? – Yes, my mother-in-law is completely bored, every week she comes to us and bothers, and yells … – This problem can be solved, only this must be creatively approached. For example, I made mine a gift with a surprise, and now she lives quietly at home and does not get enough of us. – Wow, what kind of gift is this? – Guard Shepherd. – And what was the surprise? – This dog is trained not to let anyone out of the house.


Owners of a shepherd dog complain to the veterinarian: – After a walk, my dog ​​wipes his ass on the carpet. Accelerates and rides from window to wall. The doctor advised putting sandpaper on the floor. The next day: – How’s the result? The doctor asks. – Well! Only ears reached the wall.


Did your shepherd graduate from service dog school? – You hurt. She teaches there.

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